


If coming home means coming home to you (nothing can beat me down)

by Magnolia_in_black_Velvet



Series: Ficlets inspired by art [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-05-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 13:11:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14671776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magnolia_in_black_Velvet/pseuds/Magnolia_in_black_Velvet
Summary: There are always reporters trying to make Tony 'reveal' that he is actually still an egocentric asshole trying to wring pity from the public.But Tony has Pepper on his side and, more even than her, he has Loki.And there's nothing he can't weather with his lover at his side





	If coming home means coming home to you (nothing can beat me down)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lotolle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lotolle/gifts).



> So, this is actually just a very short thing inspired by [this beautiful art](http://lotolle.tumblr.com/post/146337897676) by Lotolle on tumblr.

"-still can't believe he had the gall to ask that!" Pepper fumed next to him, giving an formidable impression of a volcano about to erupt. "And that after he signed the contract about which questions he wasn't allowed to ask ... I'm so going to sue him, he's going to be kicked out of his seat and no-one's ever going to even think about hiring him again after I'm done with him!"

Tony managed a weary smile, too tired to even come up with some quip. The interview had been only an hour away with the jet - and Pepper had made him  _take_ the jet, unlike last time, when he turned up in the suit - but it was live and scheduled for a time when Tony would normally still be asleep, especially after a workshop binge session as he'd had yesterday with Jane (he really wanted to see her reach the stars. And if it meant he had to contribute the technical support - even better).

Though it was neither the early hour nor the travel that made him feel like he'd gone an hour against Doombots or, possibly worse, Thor on a bad day. No, the bone-deep exhaustion was only courtesy of Jon's other guest, a reporter who'd thought it proper to ask Tony in a Talkshow about his time as a prisoner of terrorists, implying if not outright  _stating_ that it had been his own fault. 

On live tv.

It had taken all of Tony's self-control, years of therapy and decades of dealing with the media to circumvent a straight answer and, when the man hadn't accepted that, force him to drop the topic with some delicately placed words.

He just hoped no-one had seen how much the smile and flippiness had cost him. No-one but Happy and Pepper, that is, who had ordered him a coffee as soon as the cameras were off and said nothing about how caffeine would just make his nerves worse.

And then proceeded to curse at the asshole, the host and every other person in charge that didn't duck out in time and promised Stark Industries would sue them all.

She was an angel - well, an avenging one at least - and he might just have married her on the spot if they weren't both already happily married to someone else.

The elevator stopped on Pepper's level and she stepped forward to get off, then hesitated and looked back at him, reaching for him, her warm hand pressing his in a show of support. "Are you going to be okay?"

Tony didn't try to force a smile on his lips - she would look right through it anyway and his therapist said he should let the people he cared about and trusted see how he really felt. Instead he just squeezed her hand a little and said: "Loki's going to be there."

That, surprisingly, made her grin. "If he's not gone to threaten that epitome of masculine uselessness about asking you questions he had no right to."

The chuckle took Tony by surprise and he had to force his hand down to keep from covering it up.

But it made Pepper smile and look relieved, and with a last squeeze of his hand she was gone.

It took only a few seconds more to go up the few remaining floors and Tony was unbelievable grateful for Friday that she didn't try engaging him into conversation; he wasn't sure he would have been up for it.

When the doors finally opened to his own floor -  _their_ floor - he wasn't surprised to see Loki standing there waiting for him.

Waiting for him and reaching for him almost as soon as the door revealed him, yet keeping from actually touching him, no matter how much his dark eyes and the worried tilt of his lips betrayed that he wanted to.

"Can I -?", he started.

Tony didn't wait for him to finish before he took his lover's hand and pulled him close, suddenly unable to feel alone any longer.

And Loki came more than willingly, one hand wrapped around Tony's, his other settling on his lower back, his body so close it was almost touching Tony's. Almost but not quite because they both knew that sometimes Tony's panic attacks got worse when he was wrapped up too close, held in a grip he knew he could flee as much as a butterfly the needle it was struck down with.

But this was no panic attack, no flashback to something he couldn't change anymore, but just a tumble of emotions sitting hard and painful on his lungs that he couldn't untangle beyond  _shock_ and  _grief_ and  _anger_ and the need to be close to someone  _right no_ _w_ and he just pressed closer to his lover, wrapped his free arm around Loki's back and pulled him in as much as his human strength allowed.

When Loki reciprocated his gesture, his godly power making Tony's rips creak just the tiniest bit, Tony felt something ... loosen inside him. The heavy knot that had made breathing hard and every beat of his heart painful eased.

A tremble went through his body and he tried to press closer, crawling into his lover. Buried his face into Loki's neck almost on instinct, so eternally grateful that he was big and strong and safe. That Tony could break down on him and still know that they were both safe, that he didn't have to be the one to watch out for threats. That Loki could take his emotions and weather them and be there for him in a way that Pepper - lovely, caring, strong Pepper who for all her strengths had never known how to watch her loved ones break - never could.

So when his shivering got worse and he choked on a sob trying to crawl up his throat he could feel the arms around him tighten even more, holding him safe, holding him up, the hand still wrapping his holding him equally tight, and for once he allowed himself to just let go.

  


Later, when he'd managed to calm down and Loki brought him a cold washcloth despite him not having cried - a habit Dr. Lafarge hadn't helped him break out of yet, probably because Tony wasn't sure he wanted her to - and he'd snatched a tray of homemade muffins from the kitchen that Tony couldn't help but crack a smile over because they reminded him so much of yesterday morning, when they'd been in the kitchen before Jane had turned up for their marathon workshop session, and Loki had been mixing ingredients and Tony had pestered him about putting in chocolate chips and walnuts and licking the mixing bowl clean and "You could make more frosting and then we could take the rest down into the bedroom if you know what I mean ..." and there was no way he couldn't smile when he thought of that honey-golden moment, precious and treasured.

So, later, they had curled up in comfortable clothes on the floor in Loki's library because it was the place in all the world that reminded Tony the least of his own life, a haven for Loki and all he was and had been inside a world that was  _human_ .

Shelves filled with books in a thousand languages and more hid the walls on three sides, with a window front taking up the last. The floor was parquet, yet hidden under so many rugs and pillows that even Tony often forgot what was under it, with the only clear spot a marble tablet for those diagrams that Loki needed to draw on stone. Souvenirs of all the worlds and dimensions Loki had visited scattered the place - feathers from a phoenix and a dragon's fire contained in a bottle of diamond and a half-sentient plant living in a pot near the window until they could safely be returned to their brethren and a cloak to travel through the poisonous mists of Svartalfaheimar ... just being here made Tony realize how small earth was and how big the universe and how very much he didn't know about it.

Not it a bad way; one of Tony's biggest personal fears had always been that one day he would know everything and run out of things to find and explore, run out of space to grow into, and the hours sitting here with a cup of coffee and a tablet he pretended to do something with while in truth all his attention was on the story Loki wove around them ... they were what reminded him that no matter his longer lifespan due to Asgard's golden apples, he would never know  _everything_ .

Friday had access to this room as she had to every part of the tower but rarely used it - or at least rarely used it to interact with them here and that was good enough for Tony - so it was just the two of them sitting on a giant pillow that Tony had had specially made after Loki had told him he would sleep on the couch for a month should he turn up with a giant teddy for valentine's day, the sun's last dying rays flooding the room with red light and the first of Loki's magic candles flickering to life around them.

"Thank you", Tony said and let his head rest more fully against Loki's shoulder.

His body rocked a little, startled. "Whatever for?"

A hand rose to his face and started to stroke his cheek; it was almost instinct by this time to turn into it and revel in it more thoroughly. "For being here. Helping me calm down. Even though I know you would much rather be out there threatening the hell out of that ass."

The silence between them wasn't unexpected; the contemplative quality to it was. Blinking Tony was about to turn to his lover when Loki answered: "I trust Virginia to punish him more severely than even I could - she has the skill for it. But to be truthful, it never occurred to me to be anywhere but here when you arrived. If I hadn't been still with Director Fury while you had that interview and only learned of it as of twenty minutes ago I would have come down to you immediately."

Tony blinked against a sudden onslaught of warmth that threatened to bring tears into his eyes. He knew that Loki loved him, that he cared for him, yet a part of him would always doubt that he ranked high enough in Loki's affection that the aesir would use teleportation - a spell that left him spend and cranky afterwards - to come down and comfort him if he knew that Tony would be with him two hours later anyway.

"Are you ... Anthony, are you crying?"

Tony smiled and shook his head, even while he could feel a single drop steal over his cheek. "No. I'm just ... I love you." It came out, unbidden, and Tony felt himself freeze up at the words - another thing Dr Lafarge hadn't quite helped him overcome.

But in this, Loki's reaction was a strong incentive to keep trying. Warm arms wrapped around him and pulled him close until he was surrounded by his lover, the heat seeping through their clothes warming more than just his body.

"I love you, too", Loki whispered into his ear, the words ringing with the vibranium of a god's oath, before he pressed a kiss to Tony's cheek that made his lips curl into a smile.

And Tony felt himself melt into the affection, grabbing onto his lover's arms to keep them - keep him - where they were.

If coming home always meant to come home to this than nothing in the world - not even an asshole reminding him of one of the worst times of his life - would ever manage to trot him down.

  



End file.
